ProfileLast updated:
- Hatena ID
- GustiChica
- Self introduction
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~R.I.P Savannah Alva-April 30th, 1996-March 24, 2011...~
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I remember the first time I met you...
Everyone else was talking to you, you wouldn't even look at me.
I just kind of sat there, trying to get your attention.
I finally did, but you weren't very talkative.
It took a while for the shy tension to dissipate.
But after it did...
You were perfect. ♥
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"I'll always be by your side." Young Savannah told me long ago.
The last and longest "beep" sound reached my ears next to an uncontrollable rush of fear. My sister was dying and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I shouted her name as loud as I could, hoping she would magically wake up, but I knew it wouldn't be like that. I ran towards the door of the hospital room where my sister was dying and tried to open it, uselessly. It was locked due to the several times I previously entered when I was clearly told not to. My mother started crying louder as I shouted again and again Savannah's name. I hit the glass that kept me apart from her as hard as I could, trying to break it and enter the room, but I couldn't. Blood started shedding from my knuckles, but it was unimportant to me, I wanted to be by Savannah's side at any price.
I started losing a lot of blood and my view started failing. I could hear several of my heartbeats loudly in my eras, which is almost impossible. I fell to the floor and, barely conscious, I looked up and sniffed, trying to get up. I finally fell unconscious.
I opened my eyes slowly, trying to get used to the lights. The ceiling of the room was painted with a sad white, as well as the walls. My head was aching and my body was too. I finally sat on the bed I was laying on and realized I was in a hospital. What happened last night? I remembered I had a nightmare, where Savannah had an accident and was dying in... a ... hospital. I fearfully looked at my right hand... it was covered in bandages. "No. No. No." I aid to myself, repeatidly. I made all the blankets on the bed fall aside and clumsily got on my feet. I tried to walk towards the door when a nurse came in. "Ms. Alva," she said, apparently amazed that I was on my feet. "You should be resting." she claimed. "My sister..." I sighed. "Where is my sister?" The nurse stayed still for some seconds, before looking down. "No." I said, starting to cry. "Ms. Alva..." the nurse began explaining. My mind was racing, my heart was beating faster and faster with every word she said. "NO!" I shouted.
It's been five days since then. I finally got to go home, but I seriously think I won't make it. I hadn't been eating or sleeping these days and I wouldn't talk to anyone either. I just laid on my bed, waiting for my own death. I was still wearing the clothes I used when I got out of the hospital and my mother told me it was time to take a shower. At first I refused, but my smell was starting to suffocate me so I decided to do so. I entered the bathroom and took off all my clothes, slowly. I took my shirt off and when I looked at the mirror after I could see again, I shocked.
There, standing next to me, was Savannah. I lost my breath and fell over the sink, to what I got hold of. I closed my eyes and opened them again, hoping she would be still there. Ant so it was, Savannah was still standing next to me. I turned around and saw nothing. And when I turned to the mirror again, she was smiling at me. I raised my hand and touched the mirror. It was cold, so different from Savannah's warm skin. I started crying and Savannah lost her smile. I wanted to tell her so many things, but I didn't know where to start with. "Why?" I asked finally. She smiled at me again, and shrugged. "I loved you.." I said, remembering the promise she made me when we were just two young kids. Savannah nodded, comforting me.
My life was getting finally better, I started eating and sleeping. But I never went out from the bathroom. Being with Savannah, even though she was not really here, was what kept me living. I used to be in front of the bathroom mirror all day and all night, talking with her. She never talked to me, though, she just nodded or smiled. My family was really worried of my situation and tried to get rid of the mirror, but I wouldn't let them. They didn't believe Savannah could be actually there. I spent all my days there but started thinking that watching her was not enough for me. I wanted her back. I even thought of the best way to be with her... but that was way too radical.
I wrote a song that winter. I would sit in front of the sink and write whatever crossed my mind. Savannah used to watch me write, interested in reading it when I finished. Finally one day I was done with the lyrics. I was at my room so I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom. Savannah was, as always, standing next to me in the mirror. I smiled as a teen in love when I saw her. I looked down at the paper sheet in my hands and my smile faded away. Savannah's smile did too, but she blinked her eyes and laughed, in silence. I laughed too as I raised my hands with the paper sheet so she could read it. She approached closer and started reading.
This used to be our secret
Now I'm hiding here alone
Can't help but read our names on the wall
I trusted you in every way
But not enough to make you stay
Turn around
I've lost my ground
Come and rescue me
I'm burning, can't you see
Come and rescue me
Come and rescue me
Rescue me
Rescue me
We lied when we were dreaming
Our crying was just fake
Here and today
The only chance to let you know
Can you hear?
Come and rescue me
I'm burning, can't you see
Come and rescue me
Come and rescue me
Rescue me
You and me
You and me
You and me
My senses fade away
You're not here
Are you here?
Come and rescue me
Rescue me
Come and rescue me
I'm burning, can't you see
Come and rescue me
Come and rescue me
Rescue me
You and me
You and me
Rescue me
You and me
Set me free
Rescue me
Savannah looked up at me with a broken smile. Tears were flooding her view, however, she was smiling and no tear came out. "I am here.." She said, but no words were pronounced. I reached to feel her face, but I couldn't.
I placed the sheet in the sink and started crying with Savannah. It destroyed me to see her cry. Even though she wasn't yet. We looked at each other for some seconds, before she stood on her toes and started fogging the mirror with her breath. She started writing backwards in the mirror.
No one there you'd like to see
The day was dark
and full of pain
I don't want to cause you trouble
I just came there to say to you
Turn around
I am here
If you want it's me you'll see
Doesn't count
far or near
I can hold you
You're looking for the rainbow
It tried to shine just for you until the end
I don't want to cause you trouble
I just came there to say to you
just for a little while
Turn around
I am here
If you want it's me you'll see
Doesn't count
far or near
I can hold you
If the world makes you confused
And your senses you seem to lose
If the storm doesn't wanna refuse
And you just don't know what to do
Look around
I am here
Doesn't count
far or near
Just for a little while
She finished writing. I couldn't help but cry as I read those beautiful words. "You wrote this... for me?" I was feeling dreamy. Savannah laughed again, but still silent. "I never imagined you could write like that..." I murmured. Savannah's face changed to a serious one and she placed her hand on the mirror. I did the same. I needed desperately to feel her, but not through a glass pane. I started thinking on the only solution I had, again. "Don't..." I read on Savannah's lips. "But I need you by my side so bad..!" I gasped. Savannah smiled.
"I'll always be by your side." Fifteen-year-old Savannah told me before disappearing long ago.